Monday, January 23, 2012

Jan 6th-Grandma's day

My Grandma Pinnie's birthday was January 6th, this year she would have been 90 years old.  I remember that friday being very sad, cried very easily and just reflecting on what the absence of grandma here on earth means and why it is still so painful 6 months later.  Funny thing I started this post this morning and just kept crying and had to put it aside to finish school and do life...then got a call from my Aunt Beth and we had a lovely talk, in it she shared some amazing stories of her Jan. 6th day and I was so thankful to hear these stories about grandma and in the end I said you know today I was having a hard morning thinking of her and it was a blessing to get her call and hear some great things about grandma.  So 6 months later, I still almost cry at the mention of her kids will tell you with no hesitation, "don't say grandma's name mom will start crying" which is cute and makes me laugh, but its pretty true.  I am thankful my children still talk about her often, Anna asked the other day why they couldn't see her before she died and Micah and I reminded her that they were able to visit her in the hospital and hug on her a couple weeks before she died, oh how she loved them!  I guess this week too it has been hard being reminded my grandma always sent cards for our kids birthdays, every kid and every birthday she was so thoughtful like cool thing though is that my dad(grandaddy) and aunt beth both have been doing the same thing, so they are carrying on in their mama's footsteps.  I guess I just always knew if everyone else forgot or got busy(like I do!) that grandma never did.  I look at her picture and just still can't believe she is gone, it doesn't seem real, but it is and it still hurts.  So I miss her voice, saying my name Juulie, she dragged out the u sound, and Lorraine she would drag out the O and say low rain, I guess she said Herschel's name pretty normal. She was a very strong women, she was in a lot of pain the last couple years of her life, probably more than we know(right beth!) and she rarely complained and went on as if there was more to be done.  So today when its kind of a lowly day, its good to be reminded to keep going, keep pressing, keep doing, don't complain and don't give up, grandma sure didn't.  
This was the picture of the kids visiting grandma in the hospital.

Sammy loved her bed, like I have said before..grandma loved to call our kids doodlebugs!

As I was posting this Sammy was looking at these pictures, our dialog:
Sammy:  Did Grandma Pinnie die?
Me:  Yes honey, she did die..(me crying again:)
Sammy:  But I loved her.
Me:  I know honey...more tears.
Anna-you were there, see!  

I am thankful that grandma has no more suffering, no more pain, worries or tears that this life here brought, I am thankful she is with Christ her comfort and redeemer and long for that day myself.

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